January 1st, 2008 I had to suck it up and kiss my precious 19 year old daughter goodbye at the airport… the next time I saw her, she was 20 years old. I missed Mother’s Day with her too. *grumble!* First one without either of my kiddos! 
Well she’s been home over a week, May 19th to be exact… but as soon as she got home, off to spend time with her Boyfriend. 
It’s okay, she’s 20, they’ve been dating for over 3 years (goodness, almost 4 years!) and I’m just her mother. What do I know? By her age I was married and had a 1 year old. Sigh.
Anyway, I was reading some of her journaling she did while in Trinidad and Tobego with a bunch of PLU students. Here is my favorite of all her journals, I’m sure you can understand why.
http://trinidad2008.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/a-glass-half-full/
If you were to look me up in my high school year book, under my senior picture you would find yourself reading this: “I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday. Change one thing, change everything.” I do not know who first said this, but it is one of my favorite ‘quotes-to-live-by.’ I was raised to believe that everything happens for a reason. I have always held a strong belief in this and day by day, my life in Trinidad and Tobago gives strength to my faith in the importance of life’s lessons.
I am learning so many lessons in this place. I realize new things about people, culture, the world, myself and myself in relation to all the other aspects. I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for, my self-confidence is growing and I feel empowered in my own skin as a white, redheaded, American female. “Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself” is yet another of my favorite quotes by an unknown speaker. At the risk of sounding narcissistic, I find that what I am accomplishing personally is extremely important for me right now.
Part of the reason this is so important is because of my upbringing. I did get more than my nose from my dad, but I was put in a situation where my mother did the majority of the raising by herself and that’s just the hand I was dealt. My mom raised my brother and me as “adults in training” as she says. All her work and sacrifices are paying off and I know she’s proud that I am turning out to be the independent person she wanted me to be. Trinidad and Tobago is adding to my mom’s training by opening my eyes to a mom-lesson I never absorbed: I can ask for help while retaining my independence and without redefining myself as a weak person.
Another lesson I am learning is about my identity. I don’t have to wrap up my personality in other things or people. Those things can be a part of who I am, but they don’t have to be what defines me. My identity can stand alone. Although I miss my family, my best friends, and my better half, and I can’t wait to see them, I can be on my own. I can survive and I know the resources I can use to help myself, even if those resources are a friend or two with a shoulder to lean on. I have made friends with people that I never imagined I would end up being friends with and those friendships are more powerful than I thought they were; they are friends that showed up unexpectedly and pulled me through a tough time. After all, Walter Winchell said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” Once again, they helped me see that I am not weak for needing their help. Everybody needs a little help sometimes and they too helped me recognize my own strength. My problems are far from fixed, but their help goes a long way!
Outside of personal development, there is one lesson I find particularly interesting. In Trinidad and Tobago, like in every society, there are flaws. But if you expend any or all of your effort looking for those flaws then you will find them, and you will fail to see the beauty in the place. Negativity only breeds more negativity. Of course we should strive to fix harmful problems, but try to see the light in the bad instead of only focusing on the darker, ‘hopeless’ side of a problem. I am learning this about the world and about myself. Thank you T&T!
With all the lessons I am learning, being in Trinidad and Tobago, living away from all my family and friends, has facilitated within me a renewed outlook on life. I was raised in America and 16 of our 20 students spent all or most of their life in a similar situation as I did. This gave me a very sheltered view of the world. The study-abroad way of life is a constant battle with emotions, but it was the right decision to make. The reasons I came on this trip have evolved. I’m not here for anybody else. I will leave changed, yet still the same me, just a wiser more experienced version. I have so many people to thank for pushing me to take this experience (namely our site director, Mike Hillis) as well as people who made this trip possible (namely my family.)
Good or bad, there is a lesson to be had from every event. These lessons may have taken me longer to learn if I hadn’t decided to take advantage of this perfect opportunity. The amazing diversity here is compounded on the islands and forced me outside my comfort zone and forced me to gain the experiences I needed to facilitate growth. The lessons in life are worth everything and I am constantly learning that it is absolutely essential that you learn those lessons for yourself. It cannot be done vicariously. The Caribbean, Trinidad and Tobago, the culture, the people, everything about my life the last 2 months has given me a greater appreciation for the lessons I used to dismiss. The trip is now officially past the half way mark, but I am anxious to see what other lessons I learn as I enter the second half of the trip and the second decade of my life.
So glad you’re back home Sweetness! (Well, for a few days that is!) Sniff! Sniff!
Delanae Lindstrom,
Heritage Makers Independent Consultant ID# 225771
www.Family-Tales.com
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delanae@family-tales.com
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